Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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