Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
