i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
