I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
