You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
did you just send me my own nude
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
