I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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