That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
