what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
