It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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