If i come over, it means nothing
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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