I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
