Its about making memories worth repressing
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
