so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
