Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
