When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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