Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
