He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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