im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
