I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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