The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
