We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
