How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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