who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
