I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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