I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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