i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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