How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
