theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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