rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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