you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
