Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
