The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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