I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
