are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
