We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
