so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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