I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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