when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
