the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm too high and old for this...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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