I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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