i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Randomize
