She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
