Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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