OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
