Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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