Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
