I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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