she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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