He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
