They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
